“Because your kiss is what I miss when I turn on the lights.” – Kiss on my list – Hall and Oates
Hi there girls and boys, I hope you’re well.
Here’s the second and final part of Ellie’s tale. You’d be well served by reading part one first.
Three. The Beach.
When I was 11 years old I was sexually assaulted. This happened one sunny summer’s day, three weeks before I started school with Anna. There were plenty of people about as well. I had gone to the public toilets which weren’t more than a hundred yards from where sat my parents. When I came out I was grabbed from behind, pulled into the shadows with a hand over my face, while the other hand slid down inside my bathing costume and between my legs. He had me on the floor, his penis out and was presumably about to rape me when I managed to bite the fingers over my mouth down to the bone, making him release me. I ran screaming for dad. He’s always been a big bear of a man and in those days was a police officer. He met me halfway and after hearing half of what happened, ran to the toilets where the man, unbelievably, still was. Dad punched him then kneed him in the groin three or four times, then sat on his back as onlookers crowded around, staff from the lifeboat station on the beach bringing me blankets and tea. The police arrived and took away the man, whom I had to identify at a later date, and he was imprisoned. Why am I telling you this? Well it happened at Anna’s favourite beach, Cullercoats.
Anna had known about the incident since we were 12, what a night that was, with me trying not to cry and Anna in floods. Her mum2 and dad2 had come in and we told them, then they were crying as well. Since then I can tell them anything, in fact they get a little tired of me calling them. (Anna edit. No they don’t. Well, maybe not tipsy at half two in the morning to say how much you love their daughter!). Over the years Anna had gently tried to get me to go to the beach via it’s other entrance, but I’d refused. Eventually at 16 she persuaded me to go. It was only her promising me over and over again that it would be ok and her hand holding that got me onto the beach.
Cullercoats is just ten minutes walk from where she lives now, one of the three excellent places to spend a summer’s day, along with Whitley Bay and Tynemouth. It’s unusual as at high tide it becomes two beaches, the water up against that small cliff you can see here.
My unfounded trepidation of being back there for the first time since it had happened slowly dissipated as we lay in the sun and swam. There were about two dozen others there in the sea, having battles on each others shoulders, and we were asked to join in. I suppose two pretty girls, (can I say that without sounding up myself?), would attract attention from a group of mainly boys, but to their credit they were good natured.
In the time between the first sleepover in my bed and that day, my thoughts concerning girls had solidified and all were now about Anna. Most nights I would dream of her, after touching and thinking about her. Of course I’d not said anything about this to her, I mean I didn’t want to lose my best friend, the very same one that showed absolutely zero interest in me sexually. So we went to the pictures, to the football, played hockey for the school and county, holidays to Skye with Anna’s mum and dad2. What an experience that was, golden eagles, her teaching me how to sea swim, and the terrifying deer noises. Despite me being by now a confirmed ‘toucher” I’d still not experienced an O. That was to come (!) later at the hands of Anna, well, her fingers.
Despite my fear at being at this beach again, I was becoming less and less afraid as the day went on. What was there to be afraid of? We made some new friends that day as well, a couple of the boys stay in touch and we often see them at the beach, now with wives or girlfriends and children, and if the conditions are right, shoulder battles commence!
The day was coming to an end and with it the half term break. Soon we’d be starting our last term together, and thinking about that produced a sad feeling. We were relaxing on the sand, recovering from another bout of shoulder battles. She wore a red bikini, and wow she looked like an angel. In the future, if she’ll let me I’ll tell you of “the angel-lady” incident. I prefer a one-piece swimsuit as my tummy was scalded slightly in a kettle accident of my own making when I was four. (Anna’s edit. It’s very slight, barely noticeable and you know you like it kissed.)
The other boys and girls were mostly younger than us so we were having it fairly easy with the shoulder battles, but as it was “winner stays on”, tiring. However the feeling of having her on my shoulders, her thighs wrapped around my neck, oh yes. But then.. my turn up top with my thighs wrapped around her shoulders while my puss bumped the back of her neck. This had me in a state. I fully appreciate why she has to take a dip in her swimming pool every so often.
So, on the sand, Anna dropping chips from the local shop into my mouth, then wiping salt and vinegar from my lips as I lay on my back, her lying on her side next to me. I was openly looking at her boobs encased in the red bikini, their slopes, her hair falling onto them. The moment was just so perfect, every noise seemed to leave the beach, everything seemed to stop, no sound, no movement. That was the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with her, right then, and that I had to do something about it before we left school and went to uni. The exams that we were to take soon would decide if uni at 17 would be achievable. She was maybe going to Oxford and me to Northumbria. In the end of course she chose Durham. Happy me.
I took a deep breath, reached up and stroked her chin, then her hair, gently pulling her down to me, then kissed her lips. There was a very slight hesitation on her part. She sometimes still has that millisecond of hesitation and shyness and it turns me on like you wouldn’t believe, like I’m seducing or corrupting her. Then she responded ever so slightly, her mouth open a tiny bit, as I kissed then let my tongue touch her bottom lip. This lasted no more than ten seconds again but felt like an hour. My nipples were hard, dampness elsewhere. Her leg relaxed between mine mine, her body just for a moment on top of me. Her tongue touched mine then she whispered, “Eloise Stevens, mm you taste of vinegar. I’m getting all warm, let’s go in the water…lezza!” She pecked my lips then was up, the sight of her running into the sea just incredible. She turned around and blew me a kiss as she entered the water. I couldn’t sleep that night. Despite my initial worries about visiting there again, and the fact we still left the beach by the longer route than the ramp provided, that was my perfect day.
Of course we’ve been there many times since, but always used what I like to call the long way round to access it. I never wanted to explain to other friends that were with us that didn’t know the story as to why I was going that way when using the ramp was far quicker. When Anna bought her place (Anna’s edit. OUR place.) in Tynemouth five years ago, that night we took a walk along the coast to Whitley. This involves going through Cullercoats and passing the beach. On the way back, by this time 2.30 am, I went down the ramp and peed on the place it had happened, as a final fuck you to the memory. Now I can go there and not be bothered in the slightest.
Four. The Bench.
Once back at school, Anna was ever so slightly distant. We were still extremely friendly you understand, handholding, laying on the beds, head in each others laps, oh I loved that, you’ve no idea what that did to me. Well you probably do by now! Then one day she asked if we could for for a walk to chat about things. This is it, thought, the end, she wants to go out with somebody other than me. Was it me being pushy, trying to steal kisses, touch her while cuddling in bed? I was almost crying as we walked to the bench, which would have been demolished along with the school, but was taken by some clever girl who saw what was going to happen and it’s now in her little garden. It’s covered with the names of girls that had attended the school. Our tree is still there although now outside of an apartment window, so no chance of a liaison there unless you like to be watched… There were lots of trees in the grounds, and by the age of 12 every girl was an expert climber.
We sat down, holding hands. Now at 16 she looked wonderful, I mean stunning, the sun behind her lighting her ponytail, her perfect uniform, her intense blue eyes, her long legs, my Anna from first year was now unmistakably sexy. How was I going to be able to take her rejection? I almost said it was my fault and if you want to stop I’d understand, when she started to have some sort of seizure or so I thought, shaking, mumbling, her hand gripping mine so tight it hurt, before I made her calm down. Could we, perhaps, maybe sometime, do you think we could go out as more than friends? I laughed, then shrieked, then kissed her, and this time there was no pulling away, no eyes opening, just her lips and mine, both wet from crying. (Anna’s edit. Where’s the tissues?)
After that we barely left each others side. A week before leaving school, we climbed the tree and Anna gave me my first experience of an O. It was a Wednesday and all the pupils were in school, so there were very few places for us to go. We’d had a few minutes in her dorm laundry room, the first time we’d explored each others body..romantic yes? There was also a half hour in the old toilets, a block that wasn’t used anymore. These were Victorian toilets in which the water had been turned off years ago, but lovely tiling and proper wooden doors. They were also kept spotlessly clean for some reason. The key somehow found it’s way into Annas pocket. It wasn’t the best place in which to try to learn how to have an O as echoes would be heard in the corridor outside, so we had all that privacy and all we did was kiss, well I lie, straddling each other on a seat, exploring each other, but quietly.
One of the trees was going to be the best place, it being summer and the oak tree having lots of foliage to hide us, it also being about as far away from the buildings as possible. We climbed it like a pair of monkeys. What we didn’t know was that a nun had decided that the grass below was the ideal place to read her book, all the while I was biting Anna’s shoulder and trying not to scream. She must have arrived as we were otherwise engaged, and we only became aware of her as we relaxed and re-arranged our clothes. “Ladies, it’s nearly dinner time…Are you coming?”, the last word raised slightly. We arrived in the dinner hall five minutes later, the sister shaking her head at us.
Five. The Bridge.
We left school and didn’t see each other for a month, both of us being away in holiday, although we kept in touch. Back in those days Anna had a mobile, not being the antique she is now. Plenty of pics and videos were exchanged, many of which I still have. At this point we’d not actually had sex apart from the tree and laundry room and toilets, hurried experiences with neither of us actually naked. What we were doing was talking about it over the phone, touching ourselves. It’s amazing to hear somebody else describe what they are doing as you do the same, especially somebody that you’ve know for so long as just a friend. We had planned to go clubbing for our first ever proper date, specifically to the gay scene in Newcastle, to the likes of Heavens Above, Eclipse and Powerhouse. We both love dancing although I couldn’t go by myself like she has done, the tart. Heavens Above is basically a room above a pub, sounds wonderful doesn’t it, but it was really nice.
Our first date! What am I going to wear, which perfume, how’s my hair.. all of which Anna wouldn’t care about. I know this now but then it ruled my life for 24 hours. I’d saved up some money so went out and bought a little black dress, as well as a nice bra and panties set. The next thing was how to explain the dress as my mam would say “No” as soon as she saw it. So I approached dad! He’s always been the easier of the two to talk to, but not you understand that I would try to wrap him round my finger and ask for stuff. I’d told both of them I was going on a date with somebody I’d met, not being specific about whom. Of course they knew it would be Anna, but said nothing. So when I came downstairs wearing the dress, mam raised both eyebrows, and dad just sighed, asking for a hug. As we got in the car mam told me to be safe, standing there wringing her hands and her head doing that Indian thing, the head wobble. Dad is a big Beatles fan and as usual we sang their songs as we drove. When he dropped me off in Newcastle he asked if this date was with Anna. I played with my handbag and mumbled yes. Great, he said, off you go, and shall we expect you home tonight..more mumbling .. no.. he gave me a kiss. “Enjoy your night, I’ll make it ok with mam”.
Up until that night I’d not seen Anna wearing “going out” clothes, as she tended to stick to jeans and blouses, and of course her boots of which she has about a million pairs. (Anna’s edit. I’ve six). When she stepped off the train at Central I was amazed. A small red dress, heels, slight makeup.. she looked about 21 and she was MY girlfriend! You know when she said she could have dragged Maria, and by God Maria is something else, into the bushes? Well double that. We went hand in hand to the pink triangle, Newcastle’s gay area. Sadly nowadays one of the best places has gone, upstairs in Eclipse. Some nights in there, ah great memories. Firstly we went to Switch, the doorman looking us up and down.. “Come on girls, how old are you?” he asked. Anna said we were 18, and with a sigh he opened the door. “I’ll be around to check on you later”, he said. True to his word, he came and said hello, asking if we were ok, proof if any was needed that there are some nice men in the world. It’s a place I always feel safe, although I’ve never seen any trouble in any of the bars along that road. We still see him now when we go out, he always asks us how old we are, and we always answer 18. He’s on the wedding list!
We danced and kissed, danced and kissed.
Heavens was as rammed as it ever is. We managed to get to the bar, her hand on my thigh, at the hem of my own short dress. I was pleased I’d also made the effort. I’d never been so happy. We’d agreed not to drink alcohol, wanting our minds to remember this night, but there is only so much Coke and lemonade you can order! After something to eat we went into Eclipse, an actual lesbian club night..my mind was in overdrive. Girls kissing and more, everywhere we looked. Then on to Powerhouse which is a much better place to dance, until closing time at four. At one point Anna pulled me to a chair, sat me down, straddled me as we rubbed noses, telling me what she had whispered over the phone earlier that week, that she loved me. This time I said I loved her too. Her smile said it all. She then told me she had a hotel room booked at the Hilton over the river in Gateshead. As we walked over the Tyne bridge she stopped me and asked me to kiss her again. THAT was the one, that kiss made us a couple, as the rain tipped down, the touch of her fingers down my back and her tongue licking my lips.. and that exact same feeling I had in my tummy, back when we were 12.
I hope you’ve followed along and that Anna has typed this up properly. And look, barely any sexy details!
(Ellie’s edit – She done a wonderful job from my notes, as I knew she would. I love you, Saoirse xxxxx)
Thanks for reading.