44) A Goodbye to Roland.

My dearest Roland.

We’ve been together for a few months now and… it’s not working. It’s not you, but me.

When you first came into my life, you were all I thought about. Your looks, your sleek body, your sound. Can you remember when we first got together, oh the noise we would make, and all night? Before that I’d look at you online for hours, digging into your background to make sure I had found The One. Others told me about you, how you were with them, your little foibles, how you played well with others in a group, the way you liked the 80’s, and the way you liked things plugged into you. Minx.

I will always remember our first meeting, you arriving at my door, me welcoming you in and tearing off your outer clothing. I’d had partners before but you were totally different.

As time went on we slowed down and I got to know you better, which buttons to press, and which knob to play with. You like that twiddled, I know. My hands-on control over your overdrive and accent were a joy.

Then one day I woke up with a headache. Even though I explained this to you, you just sat there, silent. As the days went on and the headaches progressed after each hot and heavy session with you, I had to leave it longer between each. In the end, I just didn’t turn you on enough, which was probably the reason for your long silences. I slowly realised that I had to let you go if I was ever going to be well again.

Can we still be friends, Roland? I know your new partner, he’s a nice lad, with a thing for thrash guitar. These past few months with you have been some of the best times I’ve had in my basement, and it will be a quieter place without you and I performing together on the table. I’ll always remember our time together as a special time in my life.

We’ll see each other again, just… not as partners. One day we will be able to say hi and not feel that tug of the heart, or bitterness about our short romance. You’ll find somebody new with which to create something great, and I’ll work through my feelings over time. Perhaps at 120bpm.

Always your friend.



26th of May, 2021


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s